Kat Krazy

In the summer of 2001, just before my youngest was about to leave the house for study abroad in England and the nest was about to become truly empty, I panicked. It was a visceral reaction: who was I going to mother? I had spent most of my adult life parenting two children and the last was about to fly off on her own.

So, I found something else to mother: cats. I had been a dog person all my life and never even liked cats (I thought). But I went to the shelter and adopted two strays, a brother and sister 4 months old.

Then 9/11 shook the world, the trip to England was canceled, and my nest was suddenly very full again: a husband, a daughter and two kittens.

Working!

I have become one of those crazy cat ladies. It’s bad, too. Since I work mainly from my home office, I am with my cats all day. I talk to them and they hang out with me.

Here is one of the best things about dogs and cats I have ever read:

Subject: CATS AND DOGS

EXCERPTS FROM THE DOG’S DAILY DIARY

8:00 am – Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9:30 am – Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

9:40 am – Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!

10:30 am – Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

11:30 am – Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

Noon – Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

1:00 pm – Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!

4:00 pm – Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

5:00 pm – Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

5:30 pm – Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!

6:00 pm – Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6:30 pm – Oh Boy! Sleeping in master’s bed! My favorite!

EXCERPTS FROM THE CAT’S DAILY DIARY:

Day 283 Of My Captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time…

Barbara Lanz-Mateo
Publisher

Honoring a Special Woman

Sharon Hoshida is retiring after more than 35 years at UCSB. To honor her life’s work related to issues of gender, race and socioeconomic equality, UCSB is creating “Bridge Over Troubled Waters: The Sharon Hoshida Emergency Fund for Single-Parent Students.”

Sharon has asked that the in lieu of retirement gifts people consider making a donation to this new fund. If you want to know more about it, please call Laurie Hoyle at 805.893.5037 or email her at laurie.hoyle@sa.ucsb.edu

Local Filmmaker Finds a Story Behind the Gap Fire

Independent Santa Barbara filmmaker and producer Taymar Pixley has a story that hasn’t already been told by the mainstream media. It turns out that a group of firefighters have been working behind the scenes without the glory and media attention of the other firefighters. Who are they? Find out:

http://current.com/items/89095253_uncommon_heroes_of_the_california_wildfires

Find out more about Taymar at www.pixleyflix.com

One Way to Say Thank You to Firefighters

I just received my weekly email from Nancy Oster. She and her husband, Dave, are my neighbors, and Nancy writes the food column in Coastal Woman® magazine. They own Starlight Bakery, a little operation offering incredible home baked breads and treats once a week. You order in advance and then pick up the fresh-baked goods on Tuesdays.

Anyway, Nancy and her husband had this to say in this week’s epistle:

“As the top priority fire in the state, we have had firefighters [in Santa Barbara] from all over the state. On Friday last week Dave and I unloaded the freezer and took a lot of baked goods over to Earl Warren, where the off duty firefighters were sleeping. Then on Monday, Mari came over to help me bake up most of the

View of Gap Fire from Nancy's home

cookie dough we had in the freezer to take to Earl Warren. Tuesday night Kristina, a friend of my nephew, and her sister Erika (visiting from New Jersey) came over to bake cupcakes. They delivered about 77 beautifully decorated cupcakes to the new staging area at Dos Pueblos High yesterday.”

Nancy and Dave are making their chocolate chip cookie dough on Monday. If you’d like Nancy to bake cookies for the firefighters on your behalf, she and Dave will bake a dozen cookies for $8, with a limit of one batch per person. You can deliver your cookies to the firefighters or she and her husband will.

Email her your order (nancy@starlightbakery.com). The order deadline is Sunday noon, so that they can shop for ingredients. She’ll send you a confirmation reply.

Barbara Lanz-Mateo
Publisher

P.S. Nancy and Dave will also make frozen cookie dough, divided into perfect portions to bake the cookies one or two at a time. They sell for the same price as the baked cookies for the firefighters.

Thanksgiving?

Our large television is on the fritz. My husband asked me, “Do you think we can wait until Thanksgiving to get a new one?”

What? He thinks the deals the weekend after Thanksgiving can’t be beat.

You don’t have tax your imagination to think about my response. Suffice it to say, we are now debating which one to buy: plasma vs. LCD.

My husband calls himself my muse. I call him my amuse.